The Most Important Question to Always Ask: Does it Help Me Achieve My Goals?

Why do so many people not get what they want out of life?

Why do so many people find themselves falling into jobs they don’t really want? Or living places that don’t make them happy? Or with lifestyles that they find stressful?

How does someone go from dreaming of being a rock star to being locked in an office to enter data onto a spreadsheet?

Well, there are many factors. But it usually starts by not clearly defining your goals or what you want. Because until you know exactly what it is you actually want, how can you possibly expect to get it?

That means it isn’t good enough to decide you want to be ‘rich’, you need to know what you want to do to become rich. What kind of work you enjoy, how many hours you’re willing to work etc.

Likewise, if you hope to become a rock star, then you might want to think about how you actually intend to make that happen. What does being a ‘rock star’ entail for you and how are you going to make it happen? What would you settle for?

And when you make all these decisions, you need to ensure that this is truly what you’re passionate about – that your intended goal is something that you enjoy thinking about, enjoy working on and can’t wait to make a reality.

• The Simple Way to Make Decisions

The reason this is all so important is that it will then allow you to make all your future decisions that much more easily. This is going to act like your barometer and your road map, to help you to get to the end destination that you want. 

Now, whenever you find yourself making a decision, the question to ask is: does it help you achieve your goals?

So for instance, if you’re umming and having over buying an expensive piece of equipment, then the simplest way to decide if it is a good idea or not is to ask if it will help you to accomplish your goals. Likewise, if you’re unsure about where to live, or whether you should take a particular job opportunity, ask whether the decision is going to take you nearer or further from your goals.

The problem with many people who aren’t quite sure what they want is that their objectives end up on a kind of back burner and that other things seem to start getting in the way.

But if you really want to achieve something amazing – if you have a dream business idea that you really want to make happen – then you need to make this your priority and you need to change the way you think about everything else.

And it shouldn’t feel like a sacrifice either. Because if you really love what you’re working toward then it will mean fully embracing the thing you really want to be doing anyway. You just need to find what that passion is…

Written by Yola Bastos
yolabastos@womenflix.org
https://linktr.ee/LifeCoachWomenFlix  
Women Flix, Supporting Women all the way to Success!  
Women Flix Limited, a company limited by guarantee, incorporated in England and Wales (company no. 13047578 ). 

Why it’s Never too Late to be What You Always Wanted to Be

Many of us wanted to be amazing things when we were younger. Some of us wanted to be astronauts, some of us wanted to be rock stars and some of us wanted to be rock stars. Maybe you dreamed of owning your own business.

Then you reached your twenties and realized that achieving those dreams was harder than you thought and that you needed money faster. So you start working a regular job in the meantime. Then you reach 30 and have a spouse and kids. Then you reach 40 and realize you’re old and tired. And in short, you realize that you’re never going to be that thing you always wanted to be.

Dreams are for younger people, right?

• Why Dreams Get Easier, the Older You Get

This is certainly the stance taken by many people but in reality, the opposite should be true. As long as you hold on to those dreams, they actually often become more attainable the older you get.

Why? For starters, being older gives you more experience and means you’re going to have a better idea of how to go after what you want. Then there’s the fact that you’ll have had longer to accumulate useful assets. That includes money – you’ll have more funds to put behind you – but also other intangible and tangible assets such as property, contacts, a better CV etc.

And if you’re retired, or if your children have moved away from home, then you’ll have more time as well.

And if you combine all that with a savvy knowledge of how to leverage your age, there’s no reason that you can’t get things done even when you’re older.

• Some Examples…

Many people want to be actors for example but never get around to it when they’re younger. When you’re older, however, you have the option of applying to appear as an extra in films and to play bit parts. You have the time now to attend and the older you are, the more in-demand you’ll find you become for smaller roles. Build up a CV and who knows!

Or you could start a YouTube channel. Silver surfers make up a massive proportion of the web and there isn’t as much content there for them. You could make a fitness YouTube channel for over 50s for example and it would likely be a huge hit.

You’ll likewise have more time to write books and more time to pursue hobbies. And if you can’t become an astronaut (admittedly unlikely), then how about signing up for a Virgin Galactic flight? If you can’t be a football player, you could certainly maybe be a coach or join an older team.

And this post isn’t just for people in their 80s. It applies to those in their 40s too. Did you know that the average age for successful startup founders is 40? Did you know that you’re twice as likely to start a successful business at the age of 55 as you are at 20-34? 

Never give up. 

Written by Yola Bastos
yolabastos@womenflix.org
https://linktr.ee/yolatvbastos

Women Flix, Supporting Women all the way to Success!  
Women Flix Limited, a company limited by guarantee, incorporated in England and Wales (company no. 13047578 ). 

Yes! You Really Can Launch That Dream Start-Up Business

 

They say that all of us have a book in us but it’s also true that all of us have an idea in us. Nearly everyone will have at some point had an idea for a business, for a product, for an app, or for a service. We all have ideas that we think could make money, maybe even have a positive impact on the world.

The problem is that we don’t have the know-how to make it happen or the time. Or money.

So, the question then, is how you take that chance and how you build a business even if you don’t just so happen to have a ton of experience, financial backing and all the right contacts. Let’s take a look at what you need to do…

• Start Now!

The first thing to do is to start your business right now. Too many of us mistakenly make the assumption that we need to quit our current jobs and then put all of our resources, time and effort into our businesses. It’s ‘all or nothing’ and there’s no way you can start a business half-heartedly…

Except that’s not true. In fact, there’s no reason that you can’t start your business in the evenings and weekends. Even if you just start a ‘shell’ of your business, it’s better to test that the idea has legs before you invest a lot of time and money into it. 

Start a website in the evenings, start buying and selling shirts in small quantities with a small budget. Just start now and only once you know you can earn a full-time salary do you need to consider quitting your current job.

• Bootstrap

Another reason a lot of people hold themselves back from starting a dream business is that they don’t have the funds that they believe they need. If you’re planning on selling a product you invented for example, then you will probably make the assumption that you need to invest in a large order (called the MOQ – Minimum Order Quantity) to start.

In fact, though, you can once again get by without doing that. One way around the problem is to start your business with two revenue streams, or maybe three. Find a way to start raising capital through your other services or products and then only once you’re making more money do you invest in R&D or large bulk orders.

For instance, you might sell a hand-made product and use that money to invest in manufacturing!

Otherwise, you can also get funding in a range of other ways. How about Kickstarter? This way you can generate funds from the web and not even need to give away any of your equity! Or how about a PayPal loan that won’t impact your credit score?

• Fail Fast

Another tip is to create an MVP – or Minimal Viable Product – and to start trying to make money from it as soon as possible. This is simply a way to test your business model before you invest too much in it. Don’t make the mistake of investing in an idea that you have no proof will work and don’t put off getting your business up and running. You can refine it once you’re live!

Written by Yola Bastos
yolabastos@womenflix.org
https://linktr.ee/yolatvbastos
Women Flix, Supporting Women all the way to Success!  
Women Flix Limited, a company limited by guarantee, incorporated in England and Wales (company no. 13047578 ). 

How To Stop Holding Grudges And Start Forgiving People

Figuring out how to pardon someone who really wronged you is not an easy thing. Most time we imagine that we are over it and have forgiven them but in most cases, we usually hold a grudge against them. However, holding resentment only hurts you more. You only end up stressing yourself over it which cannot only cause psychological problems but also more serious health problems. It is therefore essential to learn the act of forgiveness and to avoid grudges.

Acknowledge the cause of the grudge.

To start with, try to find out the root cause of your grudge. You can only try to find a solution after you are aware of the problem. At times you may come to realize that you were just overreacting and holding a grudge over such a petty thing. Once you have seen the main problem you can then settle on a decision to push ahead from that point. 

Consider the positive side. 

Everything in life has its positive and negative side. Instead of getting angry other the whole issue, try and take it as an invaluable lesson to you. Take in an important lesson or leave with a superior understanding that can assist you to let go of the issue and not despise the one who wronged you.

Put yourself into their shoes. 

At times we may be quick at judging people when they do something bad to us but try fitting yourself into their shoes and you may get a better understanding of why they had to do what they did. This doesn't legitimize their actions; however, it will assist you to comprehend it. The better you understand their intentions, the easier you will find it to forgive them.

Share your thoughts with the other party.. 

A grudge could be as a result of just a small misunderstanding or by confronting the issue the wrong way. Without being biased clarify your feelings on the issue. At that point, choose if this is something you will chip away at in your own heart or by reaching the other individual to come up with a solution. Wait until you have calmed down and then confront the other party in a calm and non-judgmental way. You may choose to solve it among yourselves or try involving a third party. But regardless of the approach, this will help you to get rid of the tension built up in you allowing you to feel more relaxed.

Finally, forgive them.

Obviously, forgiveness does not imply that you will forget the whole incidence. It only means that you have accepted your disparities and acknowledged that we are all human who is prone to error. Forgiveness isn’t easy but it is worth it. It allows you to get rid of that burden off your heart, therefore, giving you peace.

Written by Yola Bastos

yolabastos@womenflix.org
https://linktr.ee/yolatvbastos  
Women Flix, Supporting Women all the way to Success!  
Women Flix Limited, a company limited by guarantee, incorporated in England and Wales (company no. 13047578 ). 

Why You Should Look At Mistakes as Lessons Instead of Regrets

“I wish I had put more effort in my classes, by now I would have risen many ranks higher. If only I could turn back time and avoided the mistakes that made my business go under. It’s because of not taking her seriously that she left and now is in the arms of another man.” These are but some examples of regrets that some of us are having now. Yes, you aren’t at the position you would have wished to be at. Yes, you are nearing 40 years and you still haven’t found your footing. But this doesn’t mean you have to keep beating up yourself for past failures and mistakes. And as Richard Branson once said, “You don't learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing and by falling over”.

Robert Kiyosaki’s famous quote “Don’t waste a good mistake, learn from it” is aimed at encouraging people to not live on regrets but rather learn from their mistakes. These sentiments are supported by Albert Einstein who said that if you have never made a mistake then you have never tried something new. I mean, if you didn’t fail, how would you know you were ill-prepared? Or if you did get that job, how would you know that your skills are a bit behind?

The way you view a mistake will determine how fast you dust yourself and move on. The mistake is a doorway to learning about yourself better. Theory and practical are totally different, and by making mistakes you are able to know how knowledgeable you are and how far you can go. This helps you prepare yourself better just as Napoleon Hill said “every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed on an equal or greater benefit’.

Accepting you made a mistake and moving on is better than analyzing and re-analyzing your situation. Living on regret is the same as insanity which Albert Einstein defined as doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting different outcomes. The truth is that if you are wise you can never repeat the same mistake again. Would you continue driving while drunk after getting involved in a fatal accident? Would you run your business hands-off after winding up because you over depended on an incompetent person? Of course not!

“If you live for long, you'll make mistakes. However, if you understand and learn from the mistakes, you'll be a better individual. It's how you handle hardships, not how it has affected you. The key thing is never to give up, and never quit.” - Bill Clinton. From this quote by the former US president, we see that no one is immune to mistakes. The difference between the wise and the ordinary person is that the former accepts and learns from it while the latter will be absorbed in it and live in regret. This is well brought out through this popular quote by Winston Churchill, one of the founding fathers of the US “All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes”. Mistakes should be viewed like stepping stones and an eye-opener and not a barrier to success or happiness.

Yes, you are living a life of regret. You are knee-deep in debt, your partner has issued you divorce papers, you just flanked your finals, your business is getting liquidated, or you are losing your home. However, nothing stays forever. Even the strongest storm eventually passes just like daylight eventually shines in the darkest of nights. Wipe your tears, dust yourself up, get up and face life. “Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” - Oscar Wilde

And as I conclude, I would like to encourage you to press on and always fix your eyes on the goal. Remember, Bill Gates, the world’s richest man said: “it's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure”.

Written by Yola Bastos
yolabastos@womenflix.org
https://linktr.ee/yolatvbastos  
Women Flix, Supporting Women all the way to Success!  
Women Flix Limited, a company limited by guarantee, incorporated in England and Wales (company no. 13047578 ). 

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Almost all of us have this one common destructive daily habit, that is, to compare ourselves to others. We compare houses, jobs, phones, cars, relationships, money, and social position and so on. What this habit does is creates negativity within us and this may also reflect in our behaviour. So what should we do? How can we get rid of this habit of comparing? If this is what you are now thinking, then the three tips given below will surely prove to be of help.

1. Understand that you never will win if you do not stop comparing

Even if you keep repeating this in your mind, and realize this consciously, it will help. Despite whatever you do, how much efforts you put in, how hard you strive, there always has to be someone who is better than you or has more than you.

Of course, you may feel nice if you buy a new smartphone which is better than the one your colleague has. But pretty soon you will find someone who has a phone better than yours. So, understand that comparing is futile.

2. If at all, compare yourself only to yourself

Rather than comparing yourself with others, it will be better if you develop the habit of comparing yourself to your own self. Sit back and think how much you have progressed, how much you have grown, and how close you have reached towards your aims.

This habit will help develop kindness, appreciation, and gratitude towards yourself as you notice how much you have done, and all the hurdles you have crossed. So you will be feeling good about yourself without feeling less of others.

It will be a good idea to make this a habit, say by spending a few minutes every weekend to write down how much you have achieved, how closer you now are to your life goals, what you have learned, etc.

3. Learn to be kind

Perhaps you never might have even imagined so, but the way you behave with others also has an impact on how you think about yourself. If you have this habit of always criticizing and judging others, chances are bright you will also criticize and judge yourself often, even if unconsciously. So, try to help others and be kinder to them and you automatically will learn to be kinder to yourself.

Just try to focus on the positive things in life, the positives in others, and the positives within yourself. The more you start seeing just the good things in others and in yourself, you gradually will stop comparing, and lead a happier and more satisfying life.

Written by Yola Bastos
yolabastos@womenflix.org
https://linktr.ee/LifeCoachWomenFlix  

Women Flix, Supporting Women all the way to Success!  

Women Flix Limited, a company limited by guarantee, incorporated in England and Wales (company no. 13047578 ).