How to Use Fear Setting to Overcome Anything Holding You Back

Most of us have plans and goals that far exceed our realities and it can be a painful feeling to know that you’re selling yourself short. Despite this though, many of us are too afraid or too unsure to take the necessary next steps. It never feels like the ‘right time’ (newsflash: it is never the right time), it never seems like the ‘responsible’ thing to do and we always feel like we’re inviting failure.

In short, we are held back by fear. So the question is: how can you overcome those fears?

The answer might just be something called ‘fear setting’. Read on and we’ll look at what this means and how it could help you.

• The Concept

The general idea behind fear setting is that you’re going to more clearly define what your fears are and thus start coming up with more effective ways to overcome them.

For many of us, our fears are very much abstract and general, rather than being concrete and specific. But when you take the time to identify the true nature of those fears, they can often end up losing their power over you.

For example, let’s say that you want to start your own business. You might have the vague but undefined fears that:

• Your business will fail and people will think less of you
• Your partner will think what you’re doing is foolish and judge you
• You’d have to leave your job and you might not be able to get a job back if things don’t work out
• You’d make yourself unemployable by creating a gap on your CV
• You’d have to take out a big loan, which would result in unending crippling debt

These all seem like legitimate fears. But now you’re going to actually write those fears down and thereby make yourself fully aware of what they are. Once you’ve done this, you can then start to go through them one by one and address how realistic each fear is, what you would do if it actually came true and how you could prevent it from happening.

For example:

• Your business will fail and people will think less of you
• Most people would, in fact, be much more likely to think more of you for having tried something exciting
• You don’t have to tell anyone
• Who cares?
• Your partner will think what you’re doing is foolish and judge you
• Ask them
• They will probably think what you’re doing is inspiring and they should support you
• Especially if you can show them how you’re going to make it work
• You’d have to leave your job and you might not be able to get a job back if things don’t work out
• You could run your business in the evenings or weekends and thus keep your job
• You could go part-time and run your business at the same time
• You could take a sabbatical to try launching your business
• You’d make yourself unemployable by creating a gap on your CV
• Most companies will overlook that, in fact, it will likely show gumption and savvy
• Your old job will likely take you back
• Worst case scenario, you take a lower-paid job
• You’d have to take out a big loan, which would result in unending crippling debt
• Or you could get a PayPal loan
• Or a loan from the bank of Muma and Dad
• Or help from a business partner
• Or funding through Kickstarter

The fear set shows us that the only thing to fear is fear itself! 

Written by Yola Bastos
yolabastos@womenflix.org
https://linktr.ee/yolatvbastos
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